A commentary by Tami Bonnell, CEO, EXIT Realty Corp. International
The definition of the word “confidence” is, “the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.” One of the ways you can learn to count on yourself and your abilities is to set small goals and accomplish them in pursuit of a bigger goal. Incremental improvements in all areas of your life will result in increased confidence and self-assurance.
Start by knowing what you want and break it down into small, achievable steps. I find it helpful to focus on all aspects of my life in a 6-week cycle of planning, achieving and reviewing. If I only focus on one or two areas, my life falls out of balance, my stress increases and my confidence wains. During the planning phase of my 6-week action plan, I make sure I include my physical health and fitness, my mental health and well-being, spirituality (not in terms of religion but rather my connection with the Universe), family, business, finance, recreation and giving back. Making incremental improvements to all these areas helps me to become a happier and more confident person.
I’ve always wanted to be able to do pull ups; I’m great at push ups but not pull ups. In order to accomplish that goal, I broke it down into steps and included those steps in my 6-week action plan. Early on, I added more weight training which helped to build my upper-body strength. Then I began wearing a weighted vest when I walked or jogged so I became accustomed to lifting more than my body weight. As I built strength and gained confidence in my abilities, I added working with a spotter on assisted pull ups. Every step helped me to move closer to my goal of being able to do 10 pull ups.
If your goal is to become more connected to the Universe, you might spend more time in nature, turn off your phone, enjoy quiet time and simply focus on being in the present moment. I’m a fan of the book, One Word That Will Change Your Life by Jon Gordon, Dan Britton and Jimmy Page, and my “one word” for 2018 is symmetry. I really want to be present in all my encounters and truly focus on the person I’m with. In order to accomplish this, my 6-week action plan involves doing my homework on the people I’m scheduled to meet so I know what’s important to them.
As a real estate broker/owner, if one of your business goals is increasing your agent count, your action plan would involve identifying the personalities, demographics etc. of the agents you want and then taking steps to attract them. If you want to attract millennials, for example, studies show that 75% of the time they will take a job with less pay in order to be able to give back. So, if you want to attract them, create opportunities for them to give back.
Some of the smartest financial minds suggest allocating 30% of your income as follows: 10% towards giving back, 10% towards savings and 10% towards investing. Your 6-week action plan might involve investigating meaningful charities, various savings and investment opportunities, and then taking action. Even if you start with 1% in each of those areas you’ll be motivated to stick with it and inspired to do more.
Lately I’ve combined recreation and spending time with my family by bird watching with my granddaughter who has a goal of seeing every kind of bird in New England. Recently, we woke at 5:00 am, and headed to an orchard where we saw 100 birds of 40 different species. We checked a lot of birds off our list that day and we felt like a million bucks.
When you focus on what you want in all areas of your life and act with deliberate intention, your increased competence will bolster your confidence and you’ll be well on your way to becoming more well-rounded human being.
